Reasons You or Someone You Know May Want to Consider Having Acromegaly
By Mike Cookman
[Editors Note: This article is designed to be a of more humorous perspective on life with Acromegaly.]
Being a brain tumor and all you might think that living with a chronic illness such as Acromegaly would be the last thing you want. But having had this thing inside me for so long, I can honestly say I have found some positive aspects and I would like to share them, for better or worse.
For one thing, you can be referred to as “interesting looking.” I was told this once by a woman I used to work with, in the D.C. branch of the bookstore that used to employ me, the first I had dated from said store, first of two, that is. The way she said it was like this: “I think interesting looking is part of the attraction.”
So, knowing that acromegaly alters your facial features, I can safely attribute this interesting look to this illness, would this have been said of me otherwise? I’ve heard it said the actor James Brolin was interesting looking so I will consider myself in good company, although he does not have acromegaly, poor guy.
Also, if you’re an acromeg, you will always have something to talk about. You’re out at lunch with a bunch of boring co-workers from the office and there is a lull in the conversation, and you can always fill it in with, “by the way, did I mention I have a brain tumor?”
Suddenly you’re the center of attention. Everyone is asking you all sorts of questions and there is plenty to say. And you can rest assured your name will come up all over the office for the rest of the day and you may meet just meet that special someone.
Side note: don’t bring it up on a date. Save it for the next morning, over even the next.
And, speaking of work, you ever feel like going home early or not going in at all? Acromegaly is there for you.
“Hey Joe,” you say over the phone, “I can’t make it in today.”
“Why the hell not,” the boss asks. “Don’t you know we have lots of meetings today?”
“Well, it’s a brain tumor thing.”
“Oh, okay, uh, see ya.”
It’s as simple as that.
If you’re into magic or any other sleight of hand trade, you’re in luck, because acromegaly causes your hands to get bigger, easier to hide things. Let’s say you are a card cheat and you wish to hold out some cards. Those large hands will really come in, eh, handy. And if someone gets angry and accuses you of cheating you just bust him in the head.
Seriously, though, you get to meet a lot of nice people. Acromegalics are the nicest people in this or any other world. We all share our experiences with each other and lend support to someone who is feeling down, which is not uncommon with an illness like this. So don’t mess with an acromegalic or you might just find yourself with a busted head.
- Tags: abnormal growth, acromegaly, adenoma, diagnose, diagnosed, diagnosis, endocrine, endocrine system, gh, GHRH, gigantism, gland, glandular, growth, growth hormone, growth hormone-releasing hormone, heart disease, hormone, hormones, igf-1, insulin-like growth factor 1, medical, pituitary, pituitary adenoma, pituitary gland, pituitary tumor, rare disease, rare diseases, somatostatin